Frank Georgalis – Writer

Legislative Satire: Part III

Men are working hard to make the laws

Silly Laws of Illinois

By Frank Elias Georgalis

Illinois

One’s intelligence is revealed by his deeds and sayings. Illinois is the State which discovered Obama, that is why we should respect and admire the state of Illinois. Obama calls Chicago as his hometown even though he was born in Hawaii and spent more time in Jakarta Indonesia. The puzzling thing is that nobody laughed at his statement. Obama, judging the state by its deeds and saying he knew that he couldn’t miss. It is true that he could have gone to California, and he would have been elected Senator, after all they discovered that Arnold Schwarzenegger being a muscle man and a good actor had to be a good politician, they elected him Governor. there are many things that puzzle me about Illinois, but one thing is more puzzling to me is the fact that no matter what I write about Obama, no one has complained. It may very well be that his supporters who reportedly belong to the class of the have-nots, don’t read or write. Whether they can read or write is not relevant because I know they are not color blind and they think black is beautiful so they tried it on the White house. I believe that Obama was elected for two main reasons; one most of the votes he received were votes against Bush and the other is because he was black. The voters had had it with the white Anglo-Saxon leadership, particularly they had it with the last three presidents and they figured a black man could do a better job. Up till now from what I see, hear and read the scale weighing the good and bad performances is not leaning in his favor, I personally hope the scale is wrong; for the good of the country I hope it tilts his way.
In reviewing some of the laws of Illinois which the legislator has passed, I can say at this point that I believe that the legislators are not playing with a full deck, but how about the voters who elected them? There are only a few legislators who don’t play with a full deck, but the sad part is that there a lot of voters who don’t have their screws tight who vote aimlessly.

From my writings one may guess that I am not politically correct. I cannot be politically correct if I must bend forward, drop my pants to my ankles and allow somebody to spank me because my Greek Ancestors imposed this type of punishment on his enslaved ancestors 500 years BC, before Pedicles set them free.
Some of my writings are for entertainment only and not to change anybody’s beliefs.

Here are some of the laws that have been passed and are still in the books of law. Please understand that any law in the books can be enforced.

Chicago
All businesses entering into contracts with the city must sift through their records and report any business they had dealing with slaves during the era of slavery

Comment: George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, John Adams and many more of our country’s fathers couldn’t have gotten a job in Illinois today

It is forbidden to fish while sitting on a giraffe’s neck.

Comment: This has got to be an imported law. I believe one of the Illinois politicians must have visited one of the African countries where they have many giraffe’s and finding nothing worth while to bring back to Illinois, she or he brought that law and for our legislators to stay politically correct, passed the law even though they knew the last time that anybody saw a live giraffe in Illinois must have been before Noah’s flood.

1) Kites may not be flown within the city limits
Comment: That is a good law. We know that kites can attract lighting; that is what happened to Benjamin Franklin. Or that may very well be a signal for terrorists. They believe that something unexpected may come  down the pipe.

2) It is legal to protest naked in front of city hall as long as you are under seventeen years of age and have legal permits.
Comment: Who in the hell wants to see a whole bunch of old people with their meat hanging from all sides.

Crystal Lake
3) If one wishes to plant new sod in his or her yard in the summer months, that person may not use the city’s water to water it.
Comment: They should wait for a snowy day. Crystal Lake has plenty of them.

4) Bowling is forbidden.
Comment: That is another good and smart law. Have you heard the bowlers screaming and the sound of the pins in case of a strike? That is disturbing the peace.

Cicero
5) Cars may not be driven through the town.
Comment: They should park in Indiana and walk to Cicero.

6) Humming on public streets is prohibited on Sundays.
Comment: Humming, you maybe mistaken for a worshiper and you cannot be a worshiper if you didn’t pay your dues.

7) It is unlawful to change clothes in an automobile with the curtains drawn, except in case of fire.
Comment: This comment may sound silly but it’s not as silly as the law and the lawmakers. Start a fire and start changing.

Champaign

One may not pee in his neighbor’s mouth.
Comment: I made my comments on this law in Legislative Satire II. Read    it, you’ll like eat.

9) You must contact the police before entering the city in an automobile.
Comment: Don’t try to sneak in riding a camel; they may get you for a terrorist. Don’t ride horse wearing cowboy boots because in Arizona one cannot wear cowboy boots unless he owns two cows or more. One can never guess, these sharp lawmakers can sneak that law in to Chicago from Arizona in case of an emergency.
The best thing to do is go to the nearest Dunkin Donut, you will find all the cops there taking a coffee break.

I would like to hear a lawyer in court defending a violator of one of the above laws and I would like to hear the Judge defending the law and the lawmakers, then I will know if he is paying with a full deck.