Frank Georgalis – Writer

Legislative Satire Part IV

 

 

I don’t know if those legislators are coming or going, fighting or dancing. DO THEY KNOW?

Legislative Satire Part IV

By

Frank Elias Georgalis

Arizona

.

Arizona is located in the western United States. It is the sixth largest state in area, after New Mexico and before Nevada. Of the state’s 113,998 square miles (295,000 km²), approximately 15% is privately owned. The remaining area is public forest and park land, state trust land and Native American reservations.

Arizona is best known for its desert, which is rich in xerophyte plants such as the cactus. It is also known for its climate, which presents exceptionally hot summers and mild winters.

Why do these laws exist?

Hunting camels is prohibited

The only explanation that I can think is the lawmakers of the state, knowing that camels are attracted to desert land and tropical climate, feared camels  may show up and could very well  belong to the Indian reservations, having the camels harmed by the hunters after they had their  horses taken away from them by the whites, this alone could start another Indian War.

When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only protect yourself with the same weapon that the other person possesses

If I were being attacked, rather than breaking the law and go to jail, I would tell the attacker to go ahead and hit me, but when he is finished I should tell him to give me the weapon so I can defend myself, if I am still standing.

You may not have more than two dildos in a house

Having more than two dildos may lead to dirty dancing.

Globe, Arizona

Cards may not be played in the street with a Native American

I can understand that; even though the Native Americans own most of the gambling casinos they probably don’t know how to play cards and they would be cheated by the whites again.

Maricopa County, Arizona

No more than six girls may live in any house

That is a just and fair law. Having more than six girls in the house and if you can’t have no more than two dildos in the house, that can lead to violence.

Mohave County

A decree declares that anyone caught stealing soap must wash himself with it until it is all used up.

In their books, is Clorox considered soup?

Nogales, Arizona

An ordinance prohibits the wearing of suspenders

Their legislators really mean that women are prohibited wearing exposed garters. If they had indicated the real meaning they would be politically incorrect

Tombstone, Arizona

It is illegal for men and women over the age of 18 to have less than one missing tooth visible when smiling.

My mother in law who liked to smile, would have to carry a king size towel with her to cover her mouth at all times, or would have to face life in prison.

Tucson, Arizona

Women may not wear pants.

Go bare bottom?

No one can wear cowboy boots unless he owns more than two cows

If he wants to get rid of one of his two cows he must first find a buyer for his old boots